Dabble In The Ramble

Exploring the Internet one interesting thing at a time

"Should parents read their daughter's texts or monitor her online activity for bad language and inappropriate content?"

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Earlier today, I served as the “young woman’s voice” in a panel of local experts at a Girl Scouts speaking event. One question for the panel was something to the effect of, "Should parents read their daughter’s texts or monitor her online activity for bad language and inappropriate content?"

I was surprised when the first panelist answered the question as if it were about cyberbullying. The adult audience nodded sagely as she spoke about the importance of protecting children online.

I reached for the microphone next. I said, “As far as reading your child’s texts or logging into their social media profiles, I would say 99.9% of the time, do not do that.”

Looks of total shock answered me. I actually saw heads jerk back in surprise. Even some of my fellow panelists blinked.

Everyone stared as I explained that going behind a child’s back in such a way severs the bond of trust with the parent. When I said, “This is the most effective way to ensure that your child never tells you anything,” it was like I’d delivered a revelation.

It’s easy to talk about the disconnect between the old and the young, but I don’t think I’d ever been so slapped in the face by the reality of it. It was clear that for most of the parents I spoke to, the idea of such actions as a violation had never occurred to them at all.

It alarms me how quickly adults forget that children are people.

Apparently people are rediscovering this post somehow and I think that’s pretty cool! Having experienced similar violations of trust in my youth, this is an important issue to me, so I want to add my personal story:

Around age 13, I tried to express to my mother that I thought I might have clinical depression, and she snapped at me “not to joke about things like that.” I stopped telling my mother when I felt depressed.

Around age 15, I caught my mother reading my diary. She confessed that any time she saw me write in my diary, she would sneak into my room and read it, because I only wrote when I was upset. I stopped keeping a diary.

Around age 18, I had an emotional breakdown while on vacation because I didn’t want to go to college. I ended up seeing a therapist for - surprise surprise - depression.

Around age 21, I spoke on this panel with my mother in the audience, and afterwards I mentioned the diary incident to her with respect to this particular Q&A. Her eyes welled up, and she said, “You know I read those because I was worried you were depressed and going to hurt yourself, right?”

TL;DR: When you invade your child’s privacy, you communicate three things:

  1. You do not respect their rights as an individual.
  2. You do not trust them to navigate problems or seek help on their own.
  3. You probably haven’t been listening to them.

Information about almost every issue that you think you have to snoop for can probably be obtained by communicating with and listening to your child.

(via robinade)

thegeneha:

That’s not just a cosplay Cat Woman, that’s a hero. On Saturday July 26 at Comic-Con Alicia Marie was cosplaying as Tigra with her geek+model friends. A creep publicly reached into her bikini bottom and de-pantsed her. He would have gotten away unscathed if not for ANTM winner Adrianne Curry. Dressed as Cat Woman, Adrianne chased down and clocked him with the butt of her bull whip. Hopefully some folks got photos of his bloody face, this guy deserves some JAIL TIME.

"Right now, I am just thankful and happy I have friends that don’t even have to put a costume on to be superheroes.   AM”

Alicia’s much longer original Facebook post here. More thoughts on cosplay and harassment here from the Comics Beat’s Heidi Macdonald. Adrianne Curry can’t be everywhere, con organizers and attendees all need to do more. We need to do more.

thegeneha:

That’s not just a cosplay Cat Woman, that’s a hero. On Saturday July 26 at Comic-Con Alicia Marie was cosplaying as Tigra with her geek+model friends. A creep publicly reached into her bikini bottom and de-pantsed her. He would have gotten away unscathed if not for ANTM winner Adrianne Curry. Dressed as Cat Woman, Adrianne chased down and clocked him with the butt of her bull whip. Hopefully some folks got photos of his bloody face, this guy deserves some JAIL TIME.

"Right now, I am just thankful and happy I have friends that don’t even have to put a costume on to be superheroes.   AM”

Alicia’s much longer original Facebook post here. More thoughts on cosplay and harassment here from the Comics Beat’s Heidi Macdonald. Adrianne Curry can’t be everywhere, con organizers and attendees all need to do more. We need to do more.

(via wondygirl)

When I do charity events dressed as Batgirl, all the children of color are absolutely overjoyed. They literally embrace me and I can see them realize that their own race and skin color is not a hindrance to their creativity, as everything they see and experience has been telling them ever since they were old enough to process media.
The white children are hesitant and some attempt to quiz me or insist that I’m not ‘right’ or ‘real’. They are repeating what they have been told and what they have seen all their lives. I explain that Batman believes that anyone can be a hero if they are a good person and work hard, no matter what they look like. So of course Batgirl and Robin can be Black or Chinese or Spanish or anything, because that doesn’t change who they are.
The kids accept this and by the end of the event we’re all holding hands and talking about video games. I think representation is more important than ‘accuracy’ and I won’t be involved with an organization that doesn’t agree with that.

Jay Justice, on whether costumers who dress for charity events should only portray characters ‘accurately’ or not, with implications that ‘accuracy’ means that a non white person should limit themselves to canonical characters of color. (via msjayjustice)

Jay Justice is more Batgirl than anyone I know.

(via gailsimone)

(via arineat)

cyprith:

bemusedlybespectacled:

monkeysaysficus:

joshisasoftie:

sixpenceee:

Mayflys are a winged insect that have a short lifespan. They mate in such a way that all of them mature in the exact same time. The will die out soon, but for the time being Wisconsin looks like something straight out of a horror movie. 

SOURCE

THIS IS SOME MOSES SHIT

THIS IS SOME SHIT UP WITH WHICH WE WILL NOT PUT

I SEND THE SCOURGE I SEND MY SWORD THUS SAYETH THE LORD

Supernatural fandom! This is a perfect opportunity for a Pestilence gif.